I've been waiting all my life and will continue to

juz a test...

2006-04-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Your type is the hopeless romantic

Looking for a woman who swoons when you recite poetry? Goes limp over a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers? The hopeless romantic is your girl. She loves soft music, candlelight, and long walks by the sea at sunset. She cries at weepy movies (her favourite genre) and has had her wedding planned since grammar school. She's looking for a deep relationship - a soul mate. She's a traditional girl you can open up to and talk to about your feelings, your past, and your hopes for the future. How to win her heart? Romance her. Send her flowers, surprise her with a picnic lunch, or go for a horse-drawn carriage ride. Before you know it, you and your girl will be creating a life-long love story.

reminiscent

2006-03-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

today off in lieu and i had a half day off.. and this is all how it all started..
i suddenly had this crazi idea of going back nyp..
walking thru the walkway which i always use to take to sch,
going past the all too familar fountain which at first glance captured my heart,
everything thingy from the lift to the artwork are all too familar..
vivdly yet kinda far from me...
and this is all tat flows back...
happi, tough, sad and all kind of memories starts floating ard..
yesh even way during aao i was missin the 2 ladies in my life;
one tat i had but lost it and one tat i wanna but nv had..
their smiles, laughter, actions and words keep appearing in my head..
going thru my veins and enter my heart and i juz felt this sour sensation..
they r the ones i missed the most..
love is wat most man cant say out tat easily but it is something tat is all so important..
right here right now they r being missed by me...
fang seems to be in good hands and i regretted yet i wish her best..juz tat we seems drifted..like oceans apart..
joanne, i'm for real but we too r kind of drifted too.. though we r nv tat close before..but sometimes i wish upon to hav a chance to..
juz to get tat wee bit closer again...
but i cant standstill..i'm releasing myself so tat maybe one day i will be able to love u better when the chance do befalls
wo yi lu xiang bei becoz u r there...

jayson valentino

2006-02-14T06:43:00.000-08:00

like wat i had at my friendster's shoutout: welcome in to the Singles Club!!

after declared single juz couple of days before vday last yr.. i cont' with the Singles Club and now i'm in my second yr running..amazingly!!
for someone like me who sometimes cant stand loneliness, i hav been coping damn well..
been busi with work anywhere..
today's v day..played dota with my operators and before k-lunch @ k box marina square..well i had a damn good time.. horging onto the mike also every song.. but who cares, singing is my passion! hee
well juz the eve of vday, with my operators and colleagues went ktv also.. well it's damn fun.. wicked..and wat else but the same old jay chou's song that we kept singing...
nv forgetting tonghua too.. and BA..")
humm.. in a space of 3 days i spent 400 over..first on flowers and buffet treating my friends @ veinna then ktv..damn!! it's only the begining of the bloody month...scarry-harry...might not even make it alive till 1003..
humm.. went for a divination today and it's a good lot..even indicating tat i shouldn't fret as what i disired would eventually be might..well i wonder wat it might means.. even more outrageous is it even mentioned tat "marrying might be @ hand..."
haa.. thinking to myself... who?? haa!
ciaoz...

Nudge the Balance

2006-01-29T22:51:00.000-08:00

A 91-year-old woman died after living a very long dignified life.
When she met God, she asked Him something that had really bothered her for a verylong time.

"If Man was created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"

God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us.
It is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people and our relationships with God. This confused the woman,
so God began to explain:"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.
When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever.Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it's the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts, times a thousand fold.
When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that every one makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life's experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is Man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect.Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever rejects omeone for imperfections over which they have no control.

"Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there are no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds.

God replied that Man's capacity to love is the greatest gift He has. At the root of kindness and love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson.

The woman's curiosity deepened.

God, once again began to explain:"When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.
When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence,consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world.
Use it wisely!"Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the right direction!

cny shopping

2006-01-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

hey every little things... how's cny coming along yall..
well... got a new g-shock
new ring,
and i'm pretty happi with my shopping list currently.. though it blew a big hole in my pockets..haa..
tml i'm gonna blade..hopefully the weather's kind on me..
else i'll be heading down fareast yet again..lol..
nothing much to blog...
well.. bump into yan today, tot i saw fang today also.. am i missing her or wat sia..
damn jayson make up ur bloody mind ya...

untitled~ don understand eh

2006-01-15T04:57:00.000-08:00

女生最看重的东西~~……
回复该帖

mm說：『我愛你。』

我臉紅了，我不想害她：『我沒錢，更沒有房子和車。』

mm盯著我的眼睛：『我知道。』

『我的月薪只有一千五。』

mm的目光仍然堅定無比：『以後會多的。』

我用顫抖的雙手拿出一支煙叼在嘴上：『我每天要抽一包煙，一喝酒就鬧事。』

mm笑了，『以後有我在，你放心。』

我的脊梁上冒起一陣寒意，結結巴巴地對她說：『其實……其實我很流氓……幼兒園就喜歡去女廁所，小學就沒了初吻，中學就……』

mm沒等我說完就軟在了我的懷裡，聲音細若蚊鳴：『早知道你好色，你老偷偷瞄我胸脯… …』

一股鼻血噴湧而出，我抱緊了mm，溫熱嬌小的身體讓我熱血沸騰。這時我忽然想到了一件很重要的事情，我決定把這事告訴mm......

五秒鍾後mm抬頭問我：『真的？』我悲憤地點點頭。mm沈默片刻掙開我的懷抱抬手給了我一個耳光，她憤怒地朝我喊道：你竟然看帖不回帖,你豬狗不如啊!!

another first

2006-01-15T03:39:00.000-08:00

tat's always a first for everything..and i juz clocked another FIRST in my time on planet earth.
i went down to MOS yesterday nite hoping for juz a simple nite dancing since the last time i went clubbing was....haloween nite(tat long ago)
well..personally, getting myself changed into something neat and acc with some cologne juz doesn't spell of anything great..but getting into mos..sweating it out dancing to an unknown lady was kinda something new to me..
back to the norm ~leaving hse soon and booking in jail le...
ciaoz

sometimes when we touch- if we ever had the chance - i'll be holding tight

2006-01-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

i suspecting i hav heart problem..
from time to time i will get this nasty heartache like it's contracting..and i can feel a sharp pain on my left chest..
hopefully tat's not the case though..i'm not even married..lol.. dying is out of the question..
the girl i love now, my mom, the girl i used to love, my friends
i'll miss them all..simply important bunch of ppl..

she's rite here,
on my list,
but i'm no longer the same,
lacking courage,
i dare not approach,
even if it's just a click away..

it's been so long since i ask her out, so long since i talk to her, so damn long since i see her in person..
i miss her physically but nv mentally as she has left a deep wonderfully crafted memory in my mind unintentionally..
with her beautiful name, i always feel like calling out..as though she will hear me and turn and give me one of her irresistable smiles
that can warms my freezing heart..
and sweetens my day..

djay wanna be...

2005-12-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

while i munching away with icecream bought last week..i'm thinking of duty tml..
it's gonna be one long day i can imagine..good thingy is i'll only to stay in bunk while others will be out in the sun..yet time gonna go real slow.. having no tv, no companion..it's as good as kept behind bars for a day..

well i'm thinking of bringing in another new book i bought slightly before xmas cos the book i'm currently hooked on is finishing- few more chapters to go.. a really good book... not tat i'm a good reader though..
and apart from reading wat else can i do when inside.. damn..it's a long time i talk to someone thru the phone -pretty hard to master the bloody skill.. wat else can i do eh...?? humm....

okie so my new yr gonna be in camp... wat a 'great' way to start my yr..the yr when i finally becoming 23..damn i'm getting so damn old.. i need help..to stay youthful..

"haa.. jux received ur cards, Aiya, i nv make anything this yr.. was too lazy n bz............
Thanx for e cards, still so creative, always aspire me to broaden my creativity..hee.. nah, no need any presents.. e bday card is gd enough"

juz a simple sms.. and i'm like shot on my left chest -gone to heaven...

i think i know wat kinda of a girl i'm looking for le... cos i already got a prototype in the dragonfly.. so beautiful

losing grip

2005-12-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

actually i'm a hot tempered guy - i know myself too well..
but somehow i always keep myself under control..
donno when i master the skills of 'hiding the demon' within..
i'm in fact kinda pissed with a friend yesterday..
all he wanna is go somewhere crowdless or go home - well understandable (but since it's a gathering shouldn't he back down a bit and go with the flow)
next after we all back down and decided to go to brewrekz which is not crowded at all...but he keep giving the bo-char behavior..
i'm thinking wat has left of hrg.. where's the sportaneous good-fun brothers i had back then..
friends decided not turning up, went off early and such..
well.. ppl changes..and all in such a sad state..
in utter disappointment my xmas05' has started and ended..
i cant feel the fun nor the warmth..
it was like ppl u like to see are not ard and yet ppl who's ard are not with u..
............. ..
thanx goodness all my rumblings can remain within the confines of this blog..
so ppl wont get offended by my feelings and tots..
i'm losing grip of my friends..."(

eve of merry scarry xmas!!

2005-12-23T21:11:00.000-08:00

well..tonite's xmas eve
tml's xmas..
the day after tml will be history soon..
it could juz fly by..
day by day..
when can two hearts meet?
not deter by who but by pure fate..
i'm gonna rock my nites away in ecstacy
intoxicate my very soul while keeping faith
tat very day will come..
jolly xmas y'all
and hapi birthday to u.
a beautiful soul i met *many yrs ago
which i let it slip right thru
like a teardrop off my eyes..

in a week of outfield

2005-12-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

outfield on tue-thurs then came back 160..and though i had nothing much to do..but was infact damn shagged..given the bloody hot weather- i could hav kill myself eh..
but the nites is damn nicee..but imagine w/o bathing for 3days...eyuee!
it was on the tuesday nite that i had this dreams.. seems so real..
now it's juz faintly..but i could vivdly rem i saw fang..somewhere..
i was going to meet this girl which i beforehand donno is who... only when i arrived from the back i saw this girl with nicee body and when she turned ard- it's fang!!
damn missing her or wat..lol..but the dream makes my bloody day.. coz i got ammo guard duty @3..so don really feel tired but instead energized..nicee memories always returns when unoticed..

well... i went ice skate yesterday!!
woah damn fun!! and infact i know how to..haa.. but still learning and improving... well i wanna go often le..maybe on a regular basics...hee...
i also bumped into sgt fahdil again.. haa.. and i ask about sgt ali..wonder how are they le.. miss them sia.. wonder do i hav the chance to visit tekong again juz to see them...haiz.. so many things is juz out of my control..
after skate..went town.. shopping..though i nv bought anything for myself alas some books..haa!!
hopefully i can read when i got the time..

suntanning

2005-12-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

last day @afs.....haizz

hands up! for the cpls turning sgts..

Sispec brothers!!

yesh i kinda tanned without even visiting sentosa..but seriously now i'm desperately wanna go sentosa..better get my body tan evenly...
damn after spending one whole day at tab i'm like freaking red becoz of the sun..
well i'm not there to watch those F-jets flying ard but was infact to move sandbags...damn..
made me feel as though im a blangahs...
and to end the day, mingwei's v-comd's tonner crashed into a civilan car..
well i'm juz in the tonner infront and i caught everything...esp. the expression of the lady driver...to me it seems like she had lost control of the car..
she came from a emerging lane and in the end the whole of the car is horizontally across lane 1 n 2..
well all i had to say is mingwei's damn poor thing..he probably gonna sign extra though i think it's totally not his mistake as the civi car juz cut in..
this increased the stress lv... well shi* happens..
so who's next??!

tonite newcastle match.. pray tat they win.. we desperately need tat one over the villians..else we r *drooopppp!!(warren lam's style)
u gotta know tat i'm a friendly !gorilla?!!

gladness fill the air

2005-11-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

woke up this morning and the very first song i heard is tonghua...tat probably made my day..coz it only reminds me of her...mb days and more.. .....

xmas coming!! hooray!!
time to embrace and "let it snow..let it snow"
though not physically snow as wat i always wanted..but xmas a special time..my fav..
humm... lucky my irf duty's only on 31/12 not on xmas..which some of my friends kanna...so damn suay..
today i'm clearing my leave haa.. but damn it's only one bloody day..well like i said a2..no priviledge...suck thumb..
but todqay quite relac le... cant ask for much..")
i'm kinda easily please one... lol.. shui bian as ppl know me for...
well... nothing much to blog but still i blog...
anyway i better ciaoz.. tml most likely choing town with my a2 commanders...humm.. wanna go momo also cant..for the ntu bash... gotta book in..hai damn sian..

ciaoz!!

u r looking @ the newest FCE commander

2005-11-26T00:42:00.000-08:00

ya tat's me... shockingly enough.. i had been slping during my fce phase and showing the upmost passion during gun phase but yet i'm deem fit enough to be an fce commander...
well don get me wrong... in terms of the firing unit, fce commander is second only to the fco and ps(SSG amanda; damn garang) but yet i all along tot i would be a gun comd coz sgt chris has 'earmarked' me to be his successor.. but.. speechless i am..
life goes on and it's already my third day on the bloody job and i tot i'm doing ok though i nearly lost a key this afternoon.. when it was juz handed to me and i misplaced it kinda 'instantly'!!
only to found out i 'dumped' it toghther along with some thrash.... damn jayson!! how to let ppl hav the confidence of handling the whole FU under me..shitty!!
but luckily intuition tells me to chk thru the thrash...else my arse burnt..
well today's yan's bday 2511..and it's her 21st bday..well.. nv really got the chance to congrates her..but well i guess an sms should well done the job..

on wed after being posted back to 160.. damn suay i being posted to alpha2.. no priviledges..lucky enough to be able to use the middle staircase and no need to march pt to pt...(hooray!!)..
but how about this; ..the alpha1 guys can buy softdrinks, can book out on thurs nite to clear their leave while we gonna stay and do sai kang...(deployment and cease fire + IPPT support)
well... juz my luck jayson.."(

humm.. xmas finally coming... though no special someone to celebrate currently..but no problem wor... i'm still looking fwd..haa...coz its time for gifts and cards giving...haa... gonna kick start this yr..!! make some stuff for love ones and hopefully be appreciated..")

ciaoz..

Heaven's Coin

2005-11-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

Heaven's Coin~Bo Ku Mo Ki Mi Yo Ai i Shi Tae Ka Ra (how all it started)

gosh.. i finished watching heaven's coin..well i wouldn't say i like the ending, not even a bit.. i mean why would the script be wriiten in a way tat a young lady with no relatives left in this world, would nv get to marry the love of her life..all becoz eh was killed by some lunatics..adding salt to the wounds is tat she cant talk or listen..and so so many obstructions tat came between her and her love tat in the end she still lost him..
it's extremely sad..and she totally don deserve it nv mind bout 'the heaven's coin' tat she's being promised with...she deserve more..if not juz a little bit more..
so at the end of the story she met with an accident and loses her vision, only to be saved by none other than her love who's dying but gave his eyes to her..and to the end she found out she's actually pregnant..damn..was tat a blessing or wat??

*******there was once this poor girl with only some bread and nothing else went into the forest, she saw some poor children who's hungry and she gave them all her bread..
then as she continued, she saw a poor girl who's very cold and she gave up her clothes to her..
when she continued, she gave up even her under clothes till she left with nothing and being left naked..
she walked up a nore and upon there, stars above her fell and turn into gold.. **********

this story will remain forever in me and teaches me to be a better person and be kind to all..but how i wish aya had a better ending..

a Quiz i got from a friend

2005-11-11T22:35:00.000-08:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

i wanna to be a coffee bean

2005-11-05T09:56:00.000-08:00

*The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee*

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee... You will never look at a cup of
coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her
about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she
was going to make it and wanted to give up.

She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was
solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled
three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to
boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in
the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without
saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots
out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a
bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots,
eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her
to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then
asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell,
she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to
sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity
... boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong,
hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water,
it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell
had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling
water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling
water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter.
"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot,
an egg or a coffee bean?" Think of this:
Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity
do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?
Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial
hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my
shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter
and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the
very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate
yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an
egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough
hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they
just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest
future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in
life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

invisible man and lighting storm

2005-11-04T21:58:00.000-08:00

practically that's no link between an invisible man and lighting storm..
tue nite i think.. after kanna caught by some officers for not slp.. while making my instant noodle, i was in fact enjoying my instant in the bunk... enjoying while looking thru lv 6 bunk's window..and a thunder storm with heavy rain's looming...
until i finished it's still not raining... but wat a view!! too bad 'no camera allowed in camp'..
humm..it's truckloads of thunder clouds and lighting flashing thru like whip of lights running thru the clouds..definitely not the kind of weather u enjoy if u r outside travelling but wat a great view.. and i enjoyed it through out and even long before i finished my noodle..i decided to laze there watching it..and it juz happened to got this nicee yin xing ren by yanzi to accompany with..
if only i'm able to paint it out..it would be enchanting!!
some midweek interlude~

halloweeeeen

2005-11-01T18:00:00.000-08:00

hey i nv know halloween party can be of so much fun.. damn.. missed out on so many yrs le..lol
anyway i and randy went down to zouk..met up with wanjing and her friends...for me i nv know it's gonna be like tat..
and to think tat couple of hrs ago i'm still in camp pushing the bloody guns... and rthe next moment i'm at the entrance of zouk le..stunning..
but the fact tat i nv went in any funny costume really is kinda disppointed... hee..
nvm still got xmas..or maybe next yr lo.. lol
i miss clubbing... coz i like dancing..haa.. it kinda suck away ur energy...in a good way...
and u gotta see all the pretty gals who's alluring beauty make heads turn..
too bad i don like taking pics... smile not nicee... hee.. if not can show pics....lol
tat's it man gotta ciaoz le...

no longer fighting fit

2005-10-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

humm.. i so wanna report sick on mon but not sure is the lesson important anot...i kanna heat rashes..haiz..
i'm more or less considered as a gun specs, probably heading A2 at the end of my course..and 3SG chris has high hopes on me..i can tell.. but i'm pretty unsure if i'm able to lead my man safe..
the pressure is on man..and now i'm hit with heat rash and my right shoulder has been in pain for 1week le...and yet i wouldn't wanna miss any chance of hands-on oppounity. wat am i supposed to do eh...humm..
i feel i need a break...some getaway..somewhere with someone if ok but i wouldn't mind alone..
life in 160 is freaking stress..6man's life would be under me soon, fire readiness in an hour and working in those tough environment..haiz..sometimes i really wanted to juz being an ops specs...
but seriously tat's no pride in it man..
stress.. in need of some tlc..")

it's feeling good seeing fang last wk..juz happened to bump into her on the bus home..she still looks the same- specs this time round, sometimes i think i still misses her alot..she still holds a special place in my heart...(ai hui wen) looking into her i can only blame myself tat i'm not good enough..sometimes ex love can only think of it and i got to move on... single life has it's on good side though now i'm 'waiting' someone else..
but i tot it thru and would like fate take it's place..
now relax coz life too stress..
jayson gotta take a rest..

long long week

2005-10-16T03:25:00.000-07:00

it's gonna be a damn long week.. i might be confine this weekend and this is juz so sad..somemore i'll be in 160..meaning every 2 hrs i hav to report to the guard room..pathetic jayson..haiz..

on a brighter note.. i had a pretty good weekend!! though it's a bit expensive..
i finally bought dragonball vcd..it's like part of my childhood but one thingy is the sales lady told me tat they hav long cut the stock on The Ideal Japanese Woman and i'm kinda disappointed..
and yesterday me, qiang, joo and liting caught GOAL at cineleisure 6.50..damn it's so nicee for a sports show..quite a success i must say and of coz it's at my club Newcastle United..")
then after that qiang suggested tat we catch corpse bride too..lol.. so we called sin and randy to join while joo and liting went off..after tat we chiong one more movie..FlightPlan...a suspense thriller..damn nicee..keeps u on ur toes..lol... so finally got home at ard 4am..lol...
to the max!! that's my personal record of 3 movies in a role..lol..

well..we saw fang after GOAL..she with her bf..looking happy and i'm happy for her too..though sometimes i still think of her..she's one sweet thing tat i think happened in my life yet i nv grabbed tight enough with my hands and let it slipped right thru..she's such nicee gf..

anyway today i had ordered a bouquet of lilies le..got the card dropped into the mailbox and was planning to meet up with her to give her the bday gift..tuesday coming i really wish her had a wonderful birthday celebration tat day.. well as usual jayson will be sweating away pushing the bloody guns..and missing her..

160s bloody hellish

2005-10-15T04:42:00.000-07:00

back at the comfort of my home typing, away from the scary ppl of 160... imagine this: 2 man pushing a 5tonner... well we nv do that..but it's worst.. sweat trickled like it's free flow beer on a saturday happy hour.. and ur arms got all numb but not totally; u can juz feel it went powerless.. try doing 100 pushups at one go.. u probably end up lying flat coz ur arm can no longer carry hold u up and it's juz shaking uncontollably.. and did i mention tat we did near 300 push ups for today..scary.. though it's hellish(i think)...we pull through with pride..like a specialist") tough time don last but tough man last.. we earn it today..respect with pride..though some show no resolve.. talking bout being physically drained.. i think and would hope for a caring and warm hand massaging the bare skin of me...i'm human after all.. juz 3 more days.. wat can i do now?? will i be appreciated..ever??
it's quite disheartening after working so hard during the week and was hoping to see the angelica face of her's but only to be dashed..

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you
'Cause I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Oooh, oooh, aaah Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you
'Cause I believe that destiny (ooooooh)
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

untitled

2005-10-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

okie it happened again... i lost my post.... argg... anyway.. i decided to go to hrg chalet...
i miss hanging with all my friends... 4hrs...thats all i have before booking in...
humm...
shall update next week le..
her bday's coming... and the card done..") almost..

shagged, cannot think

2005-10-02T02:18:00.000-07:00

hey this is my second post.. got some settings problem and lost my initial one..
finally i'm back @ home... 160 is a scary place..
firstly we r allocated on lv 6.. imagine we have to fall in in 5mins time... or how bout rch lv 1 then rem something tat i forgot to bring.. humm..
next we cannot cut the parade square and everything from fieldpack to rifle buckles have to be standardize(face down)..
this has never been a issue in afs, sispec or jaguar...
and i hav yet mention how late we gotta train.. on tue we even train till 2am.. my lunch and dinner r always late and in sweat drenched uniform is normal..
and i seriously miss afs, delta and my jaguar..
wat a stressful vocation...
tat when on friday we r going back afs for the monthly wing comd call..we r like birds out of cage..

wat a lovely gif file i saw on the net..
make love not war..
humm.. i miss her and her smile..it could melt me instantly

one for ada!!

it's raining now

2005-09-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

it's raining now...930 i'm supposed to be back in afs.. gotto decor my journal and i haven yet got a damn decent pic for it.. nvm tat...running late but i still decided to record my first piece now..juz now i happened to chanced upon Dao Nan pri sch...remembered there was once i acc fang there to get her scholarship thingy.... memories kinda juz flow...anyway tml i going to chong bang camp le... gonna miss afs... hai...think i gotta take a cabbi down lo..
one for ada!!